How many times have I been told that you don't know what you've got until it's gone? Too many! Thing is I never quite believed it until now.

Here I am with my new internet connection watching Wimbolden. Just a normal day except for one thing. I'm doing it at my parents. Due to my tennancy running out on my student house I've had to move back in with the parents. Honestly it's not so bad, they're feeding me and mam is washing, drying and ironing everything for me. But knowing I never need to go back to Sunderland is killing me a little bit inside. Although I never thought the day would come when I miss Sunderland, being a Geordie and all that, it has. I miss it like I was born and brought up there.

Truth is though, that I did grow up there. I changed a lot and althouh I may not look any different to that 18 year old leaving high school, I think I've changed a lot. I've grown up and changed a lot of things in my mind. I've become a different person which I hope is for the better. I miss all my friends from uni and it makes me sad to think I may never see a lot of them again. Though I know they're the ones who I don't really care about seeing again.

Graduation is coming up and I know I'll see all those who matter to me then, but then what happens? I'm quite aware that after graduation, our friendships will fizzle out. I know that our lives will all take different paths and that we will all make new friends. We might see each other within our lifetimes but I wonder if we'll ever feel as close as we do now? Will we still laugh at silly little things. Will I still be able to go to one of my friends when I'm upset and cry on their shoulder while they say all the right things? I know that the chances are that in the future they won't even know the right things to say.

For now, however, I'm going to make the most of them. Love the time I have left with them and embrace the moments I have with my friends who I love. Those who are more like family to me than my real family. And hope that there'll always be some kind of connection between us all that keeps us together.