I did it!

That's right, I did it. I wore my cap and gown and collected that piece of paper which said congratulations on it, now I simply await the letter through the mail which gives me my real degree.

It was an amazing experience to graduate. My essays had been mixed up at the library so it turns out that I never failed at all. So I went along on the day and met up with my friends since my parents were ariving later on. We laughed and joked and for some reason it never dawned on us that this may be the last time we ever see each other. I have no doubt in my mind that some of the people I've met over the three years, I will stay in touch with, I will see on a regular basis and will always share a connection with. On the other hand, however, I am also aware that some of those who I met and love, I may never see again.

Regardless of the sad fact that some of the people I've shared amazing times with, I may never see again, we smiled and laughed for the full day together. We told each other how proud we were of one another for managing to pass their degree and reminiced about some of the good times we'd spent together.

The actual ceremony was one hell of an experiecne. The nerves we had when we woke up that morning had disappeared when we had seen all the familiar faces of our friends who we trust so much. Then those nerves came back. We had managed to pass three years of uni, managed to get all our essays handed in and went into our lectures (sometimes) yet now, the thought of walking down some stairs, across a stage then up some stairs, was utterly terrifying. I have no idea why, there was nothing I was particulaly scared of, maybe triping and making a fool of myself but I knew how capable I was of walking. Then row by row we ascended to collect our diploma and after two seconds it was over. That was it. I was a graduate. I had a degree. After seeing the family and socialising with people I'd met once or twice. I decided to go meet the important people. The ones who had been there through everything, even those who I had only just gotten to know. They felt like my family. We met in the pub and laughed any worries away. We joked anout times where we'd seen each other fall flat on their face and told each other storied of how hard it was to find a graduation outfit (or suit in most cases as I was the only female out) Eventually it was time for home. Here I am now. The day after my graduation and I can't help but wonder.

What next?

How many times have I been told that you don't know what you've got until it's gone? Too many! Thing is I never quite believed it until now.

Here I am with my new internet connection watching Wimbolden. Just a normal day except for one thing. I'm doing it at my parents. Due to my tennancy running out on my student house I've had to move back in with the parents. Honestly it's not so bad, they're feeding me and mam is washing, drying and ironing everything for me. But knowing I never need to go back to Sunderland is killing me a little bit inside. Although I never thought the day would come when I miss Sunderland, being a Geordie and all that, it has. I miss it like I was born and brought up there.

Truth is though, that I did grow up there. I changed a lot and althouh I may not look any different to that 18 year old leaving high school, I think I've changed a lot. I've grown up and changed a lot of things in my mind. I've become a different person which I hope is for the better. I miss all my friends from uni and it makes me sad to think I may never see a lot of them again. Though I know they're the ones who I don't really care about seeing again.

Graduation is coming up and I know I'll see all those who matter to me then, but then what happens? I'm quite aware that after graduation, our friendships will fizzle out. I know that our lives will all take different paths and that we will all make new friends. We might see each other within our lifetimes but I wonder if we'll ever feel as close as we do now? Will we still laugh at silly little things. Will I still be able to go to one of my friends when I'm upset and cry on their shoulder while they say all the right things? I know that the chances are that in the future they won't even know the right things to say.

For now, however, I'm going to make the most of them. Love the time I have left with them and embrace the moments I have with my friends who I love. Those who are more like family to me than my real family. And hope that there'll always be some kind of connection between us all that keeps us together.